I've often heard people say that after a time of not smoking, that they'll have a dream that they did. Well, my turn for this was a few days ago. On a side note, I've noticed that the dreams I have had since quitting are much more vivd and seem like they really happened. I don't remember the entirety of the dream, but I remember that in the dream I smoked. When I woke up, I was never more thankful that is was a dream! But before being fully concious enough to realize that I was, in fact, dreaming, I felt so horribly guilty for smoking. I was worried about all the people I let down. But more then that, I was afraid. Afraid that I would never escape an addicition that I had so greatly underestimated. I'm not kidding, this nicotine is a beast, pure and simple.
In the days leading up to today, my normal rountine has been to slap on a patch as soon as I wake up. I would then go downstairs, have some coffee and/or breakfast, then go back up, take off the patch and get in the shower. After the shower, I would immediately put it back on. It's like I'm in a warzone, and the patch is my bullet broof vest. However, today I made the mistake of waiting to put the patch on because I would be taking a shower sooner then usual after waking up because I had plans. Anyway, the point is, that short amount of time that I didn't have it on, I could actually contemplate myself having a cigarette! This is truly a scary thought, and seriously validates my thought process as the patch being a my bullet proof vest against nicotine addiction. You would think that after almost 3 weeks of not smoking, that the urge wouldn't be quite so strong. But, no such luck. My "vest" in going to remain firmly in place for months to come. I'm still smoke-free though. No relapses what-so-ever. And yep, I'm proud as hell about it.....happy dance!
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I always heard it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. after that, it's all in your mind!!
ReplyDeleteHey, I am one year, 6 weeks smoke free. Well, that is unless you count the second hand smoke I do not tolerate well from upstairs where my "ex" lives. I told him when he moved in up there that he had to smoke outside but he thinks I am joking. He will find out I am not joking when I get my own car again.
ReplyDeleteHe will be looking for another place to live.
ReplyDeleteI quit almost 3 months ago and now I do not think about it at all. I really am glad I did quit because I was getting tired of it and plus it really does smell bad. I really never noticed that part of it,but I sure do now. keep it up do not I repeat do not give not even one drag. I did it cold turkey and now it goes good with me eating good and working out, cause I have now up to this day. I have lost 7 pounds,since the beginning of January and I am starting to notice more I am so glad.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, how is the life of a non-smoker? I was unsuccessful. I had quit in December, but I started again. I am so stressed in my life, no job, live alone, school, and just flat out boredom gave way to me starting again. I guess I was not a dedicated to being smoke free. I don't feel like a failure, but I am not proud of my decision to smoke. For me, once I get working again I will quit and quit for good.
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