Hello all, I am writing today just because I feel like it. I need to "empty my brain into the keyboard". This practice has proven to be pretty good therapy for me, as I am still awaiting my appointment to talk to a live person about my problems. I have found that music is great therapy as well. Today is classic rock day for me. I've got the stereo on downstairs, and then a little boom box/radio thing by my side in the "office" tuned to the same station. Yep, I like the radio because you never know what you're gonna hear next. For all the times you hear the same tired song, there that one that comes on every once in a while that just takes you back to a particular memory, or just plain old makes you feel good. Plus the fact that we have no working computer speakers at the moment so now aol radio or my itunes library can be played. I mean it could, but it would sound horrible. As I've said many times, just because you could doesn't mean you should. Wow, that saying applies to so many things, doesn't it?
So, unlike yesterday, today is OK. I was really scared that I was about to have a repeat of the episode I had a few weeks ago with my bipolar disorder. However, today it's as if overnight, while I slept, the anxiety and depression just decided to go dormant again for a while. Which is freakin' fine by me! I hate the feeling I get when I'm in the worst part of this disorder. Hate is a strong word, but yes I truly hate being in that state. Feeling pathetically out of control with depression and anxiety is debilitating, exhausting and plain miserable. So, I'm just going to try to appreciate the small amount of peace I have in this moment and see how long it will stretch for me.
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http://www.yesandyes.org/2010/03/101-ways-to-cheer-yourself-up-part-1.html
ReplyDeleteHey girl,
ReplyDeleteYou hang in there and I of course don't know if you are or not but never blame yourself. I suffer from debilitating anxiety and have for years. But it wasn't until an awol soldier for his 2nd tour of Iraq duty decided to attempt suicide by hitting me head on at 120mph 2 years ago that it spun out of control. I cant drive, I lose my mind, especially when I am alone. After my hysterectomy in October, I had to add depression and hormone problems to that. (I never had a biological child). They give me pills but I have found what helps more than anything is to talk to someone on my level who can understand what I am feeling. If you ever need to talk, anytime, my email is lilredneckwoman11@yahoo.com and my yahoo messenger is always on. My aim is the same as my email including the @yahoo.com. Don't hesitate to holler at me!
Funny you mention "classic rock", it was a discussion topic last night. My idea of classic rock and some of my friends' idea of classic rock are not the same. Must be an age generation thing. I am the oldest of my group of friends. Age range is 35 to 59. So me, classic rock, is the 50s and 60s. Most of them, it is the 90s and maybe a bit of the 80s. They turn on a classic rock station on the TV and I do not know any songs and just don't understand. So they tell me, I have to go to a station "oldies". Oh my, now I am part of the "oldies" generation. Oh well, it is what it is.
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